I am not a big fan of cold calls anymore with all of the tools we have at our disposal, but I still make some calls…just to stay sharp and preserve the fine art of calling a stranger. And, I do think there is still room for some cold calls.  But, I do love getting cold calls (a strange hobby…) and always enjoy what comes out of the person’s mouth.  Simply amazing!

Today, was especially entertaining as I received two cold calls on my cell phone which is the latest trend.  Both of these calls were so poorly executed it makes me wonder what the point is and if there is any economic return on this activity.

Here is how one of the calls went:

Ring, ring, ring…

Me: Hello…nothing…hello…

Cold Caller: Ah..is this Jonathan Brickman?

Me: Hello, how can I help you?

Cold Caller: Is this Jonathan Brickman

static, pauses,..lots of ambient noise…very poor call quality

Me: Yes, how can I help you?

Cold Caller: I see that you were on our website..

Me: Where are you calling from

Cold Caller: Something ___ loan

Me: Sorry, where are you calling from?

Cold Caller: Again, can’t understand him…___loan

Me: What website was that?

Cold Caller: Are you looking for a loan?

Me: How much do you want to lend me? (having some fun…)

Cold Caller: Are you looking to refinance…or something like that…

Me: No sir, I don’t need any money

Cold Caller: It will take 30-40 minutes…blah blah…

Me: 40 minutes for what?

Cold Caller: repeats himself, It will take 30-40 minutes…

Me: No thank you, I don’t need any money.

This is when it gets really funny as I am clearly closing this down.

Cold Caller: How about $5000?

Me: No, I don’t need any money but thank you

Cold Caller:  How about $1,000?

Me: No, I don’t need any money but thank you

Cold Caller: click…he hung up

Okay, I said I am not really in favor of cold calls but if you do make them, what the heck…really?

Now of course, I am relaying the stereotypical low-cost B2C cold call but I tell you I have heard many a B2B call not much better.  If you can’t make a decent call don’t bother or stick to emails.  There is nothing more damaging than getting on the line with a prospect and fumbling your way through a call.


Jonathan Brickman

Sales and Business Strategist

Bethesda MD 20814



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